Christmas Crackers Ramblings

28mm 4th Hussar Perry Miniatures

Dan aka no1wargamerdog has been working hard in this ridiculous heat to paint these 28mm 4th Hussars made by Perry Miniatures. I maybe a bit biased, OK very biased but I think he is an exceptional painter of 28mm, and I love these figures. As usual the Perry Twins sculpts are superb, I’m told that they were nice to paint and enjoyable to work with.

I have to give a shout out to somw superb figures that I have recently brought from Simon from Steel Fist Miniaturrs, his landsknechts fit in superbly with Perry’s figures.

Samsung FlipZ 3

I recently had to upgrade my phone, my Samsung A70 suddenly stopped charging. I tend to go for Samsung more than IPhone. I’ve had IPhone before but have always preferred Samsung. However, I’m starting to wish I had gone for a iphone.

Pros.

It’s a cute phone, it’s foldable making it a lot easier to carry around. I rarely carry a handbag and when I do, it’s literally big enough for a phone and keys and normally medication. Yet the phones are getting bigger. So for this reason I went for the Flipz 3. It comes in a various amount of colours

Cons.

The battery life is a lot less than the A70, I’m needing to charge my phone two to three times a day. If like me, you like taking photos, you will be disappointed. Its the first Samsung I’ve had that I’ve been disappointed in the photos. They aren’t clear and crisp, even using pro they aren’t good enough. Probably out of everything with the Flipz 3, this is what has disappointed me the most. I take literally 1000s of photos and I’m already gone back to going out with my main camera. To be honest, I hate the phone, it’s put me off Samsung, instead of improving, it’s gone downhill. It’s hard to find a good protective screen, I have a leather wallet case for mine, its feels safer in that than the hardcase shells you can buy. This case at least protects the hinge as well.

I’m sorry Samsung, I often forget to take this phone out, preferring to take just my text and phone Alcatel out. At least I can rely on the battery not running out. Will I buy Samsung again. Probably not, its a bit like anything if you have a problem with it, you don’t normally buy the same thing again.

I do have to point out I do have a fair few apps on my phone, but a lot less than the A70 and Flipz 3 has a lot of problems dealing with the apps, constantly freezing. In truth I hate the phone. I hate it so much that because my husbands phone hasn’t got any problems and he is due an upgrade, I’m going to be using that to get a Iphone 13 mini.

Now Day New beginnings

Today I’m still struggling, but instead of going further down the slippery slope of doom, I’ve decided to focus on other things.

I appreciate people don’t have time and I appreciate that some people can’t deal with other people or their depression. However, I’ve decided today that I have to help myself and sadly have to walk away from situations that cause me to dislike myself more. In making other people happy I have become unhappy.

I didn’t do SI, I took some medication to help me sleep and played calming music to fall asleep to. It helped.

So I’ve been working on making my own holograms, today I am going to do a bigger model, my first was only 4cm, today I want to make it at least 15 to 20cm if not larger.

I have had Slim(the fox) and her 3 cubs visit me, there was 4 I can only hope that the cub was playing in another garden. Its lovely seeing them play in the water bowl and roll about with each other. They are quite gorgeous and cheeky.

Currently I’m knitting another dog blanket, this time it’s for a Norwich fc supporters. I had lovely feedback from a couple of the blankets I knitted for the charity The Maggie Fleming Animal Hospice and Karass Sanctuary If you haven’t heard of them, please look them up. Alexis Fleming is a wonderful lady who set up the first ever UK animal Hospice, she relies purely on donations and though she suffers from poor health, her love for the animals is second to none.

Going back to the blankets, I was given such lovely feedback, and I hope to make some more to make money for The Maggie Fleming Hospice.

Anyway back to today, well its a new day, I can’t make the world right and I can change how people behave. What I can do is change how they effect me.

Have a wonderful day today and I hope that you only cry tears of happiness xxx

Sugarcubes or spoons

I had an amazing few days up Norfolk, its good to get some clean air. However like anytime I go away, when I get home I have a little while where I drop physically. This time was no exception.

I’ve been tired since I came back, but yesterday I was hit with the full fatigue. Tiredness you can work through, tiredness is inconvenient but workable. Fatigue is not, your whole body is like it is encased is setting tar. Everything is virtually impossible to do. Even writing a sentence is like you have written a huge book.

There used to be a saying that I’ve used all my spoons up, in theory that saying is very much alive, but apparently the lady who wrote about the spoon theory, doesn’t like it being used. So I’ll try and put it the best way I know.

Imagine you have got 10 sugarcubes, each sugar cube is used for a task you do, a sugar cube is used for showering or bathing, another sugarcube for some is used for brushing their teeth, for some a sugar cube maybe used to get completely dressed, others a sugar cube is used just to put on socks alone. A sugarcube can be gone just by boiling a kettle and making a coffee, already your sugarcubes are depleting. Thinking about just eating, preparing and cooking takes up all your spoons and you’ve done nothing in the way of going out or a hobby.

Sometimes you have to borrow Sugarcubes from the next day, which reduces the amount you have for the next day, and sometimes you borrow too many sugarcubes. This is what I done, I borrowed too many of my sugarcubes from several days, so paid for it yesterday. I had no sugarcubes, I had borrowed all I could have and the body couldn’t work, so it was a bed day. Sleep was all I could do. I have only a very few sugarcubes today, so it’s a case of accepting that I need to recover and build my depleted borrowed spoons.

It’s not great when you have no or little sugarcubes left, but it’s part of my life that I do struggle to accept, but at the same time at least I’m lucky that I have a good family who understand and accept that I have to rest and that I can’t do anything on some days.

Have a wonderful day xx

Insomnia

I have CFS, so you’d think I’d be asleep all the time, but actually it’s the opposite since coming off citralopram. (I was diagnosed with CFS/ME before I was on Citralopram) I rarely do more than 4 hours in a 24 hour period, but once a week I will sleep a solid 10 to 12 hours. At least once a week I will have the problem that I’m having tonight and that I won’t sleep at all.

I have a very busy brain which never turns off, always thinking of ideas of what I can do, or worrying about situations I can’t do anything about.

On the outside I look like I don’t worry, but I worry about everything, things play on my mind. I think the problem I have is the need to control everything in my life, I don’t accept things easily. I don’t accept my health problems, and try to ignore warning signs as long as possible. The back of my mind tells me I’m dropping, but my head refuses it. I’m stubborn, I decide when I’ll let my body rest not my body!!!!! Seriously how stupid is that? Yet I push it. I hide it from it. If I face it, it becomes real. I can hide from most of the constant pain, you get used to it, it gradually racks itself up, but for the most of it I can ignore it.

Then I worry about things I have absolutely no control over and never will. Going up to my mums, a crow had been hit and was flapping its wings, it was in the last throws of life. Cars sped past and I knew there was nothing I could do, there was no safe place for me to pull over and the chances are that if there had of been, by the time I crossed the road it would have been killed straight away. I’m frightened of birds, but I’d still safe them if I could. I had to fight back tears as I drove. Coming back home, I saw 2 dead deer, both Roe deer, a dead fox cub and what was left of some other poor animals. The first deer I pulled over in the nearest layby just so I could cry. I felt so useless and knew there was nothing I could do, but just prayed they got killed instantly and didn’t feel pain.

Until last year I never had anxiety, I’d have panic attacks, but nothing too bad. I have suffered depression since being 21, but I didn’t have anxiety until last year. After Dad died, I questioned everything, my sister in law had been taken far too young just a few months before with cancer, then Dad died of it, I started to be fearful. I also was trying to hold it together and failing when I was on my own. Then when my brother got diagnosed with cancer a few months later after Dad’s death it was too much, suddenly I found myself petrified of so much. Pain would go rushing through my chest and I couldn’t breathe, but that wasn’t the worse of it. I have never been a great sleeper, but all of a sudden I was frightened of sleeping. When I closed my eyes, everything became real again, I could hear my sister in law laughing, I could hear my dad calling my mum and was panicking about losing my brother. I knew if he didn’t beat the cancer it would kill my mum and I’d be the only one left in my immediate family.

of course I have my husband and two children, but both had left home last year, my son moved to Canada in the January and my daughter moved out just after Dad died. Suddenly I was gripped with fear. I could breathe, but my mind would freeze, I had to keep it together, but no longer knew how. I still don’t know how.

After dad died I found myself getting angry more than usual, I still am struggling with anger issues. So much so I have enrolled in a anger management course. I need to get it under control, my blood pressure hits rocket high and gets to a very dangerous level. So I know I have to manage it.

I’m angry at life, I’m angry at what us human beings are doing to each other and to animals. I’m just perpetually angry when I go out of my comfort safe zone. Yet I don’t like staying in, I have to keep busy, keeping busy keeps my mind active and stops me thinking. Until I go to bed, then everything is there in full blown colour. It never went it just hid through out the day. Night time I have no choice but to think, to relive, to feel it all again.

crazy, writing this I can see the problem, a problem I didn’t want to see or didn’t understand. I haven’t got over Dad, I haven’t got over Jackie and I can’t accept my brother is fighting cancer as well. There are other things that I haven’t put down in writing, they are ongoing and they all happened at the same time. I don’t know how to address them yet, it literally has just hit me why I’m the way I am at the moment. Now I need to work out a solution.

This blog is I guess in a way a diary and also to talk about things I do. I apologise that it will have these kind of moments, I’ve already been told I put too much on social media, so again I apologise. This really is me thinking aloud today.

I will try to sleep now. Its 6.25am and maybe I can have a hour or 2.

I hope today brings happiness and good health to you xxx

Dad

A year ago today my dad passed away. I was there with my mum holding his hand has he passed. He was an amazing man, though he never thought it. He could paint, draw, build anything, he was generous, funny and intelligent. There was never a day went past where he wouldn’t make someone laugh.

Dad died just after their 60th wedding anniversary. He loved mum and us so much and protected us the best way he could. He was a great dad, a great husband and a great grandad and a great great grandad He loved children and hearing them laugh He would even when he could no longer walk have the children on his lap and make them giggle, so they would always say “more grandad, more”

Growing up, Dad would often take us to Dartmoor in the corsair, he would make us giggle as he made the car go over bumps and make our tummy feel funny. Mum would do a picnic and we would go on the moors Dad would run my brother to Judo and me to horseriding and come and see at us at all events. I don’t ever remember mum or dad missing out on seeing my brother or I in anything at school or after school activities.

Has I got older I was still a daddies girl, and when I passed my driving test at 17, he allowed me to drive his datsun Bluebird estate, it wasn’t my finest hour and I nearly hit a police car on a roundabout. He was fine about it, told me not to get so stressed about driving. I admit I pulled over and let him drive the rest of the way.

Both Dad and I worked for PSA in the civil service, so often dad would pick me up from my flat and we would drive up to Saint Christopher House, where he would drop me off before going to his office. I used to love those rides.

Dad came from a big family and loved them all, from his sisters and brothers to their children and to their children. When there is ever a Tagg get together, you can 1. Expect it to be noisy, the Taggs love to talk and 2. Expect to have your face aching through laughing all the time.

Dad was my hero, of course I argued with him at times. Has soon as he said “now don’t lose your temper” I knew I would. He did tell me off, I was a teenager with attitude and a even worse adult with attitude. Dad knew I’d bite back if I didn’t agree. I don’t sit on the fence, I have to say what I feel. However 99% of the time Dad and I were close.

Dad had so much pain and though he’d get grumpy, he would still make visitors laugh. Mum was incredible, for 20 years she looked after him, she would help him where in truth he probably needed a carer, but for mum it was what she had to do. She loved dad and je had given her and us a goodbye. She never moaned about what she did, even at 5ft 3 and my dad being just over 6ft 4, she just got on with it, and dad didn’t trust anyone like he trusted mum. He knew he was in good hands.

Dads energy is still very much around, and I’m so proud to have both my mum and dad has parents. My kids loved my dad so much and for my daughter who was very close to him it was very hard. He understood her way of thinking and laughed even the day before he died how she made him laugh when she was little when he was teaching her how to bake. He told her to put the eggs in with the butter, so she did with the shell on. She wasn’t being stupid, she is autistic and so did what was asked literally. Dad understood her and never pushed her.

Dad thankfully saw my son and his girlfriend who live in Canada through facetime the night before he died. He even made jokes about his accessories (oxygen)

Goodnight Dad, you are always in my heart and I know you are looking over mum, but so will we. Love you always. Proud to be the daughter of an incredible man.

Chartwell House

Chartwell is Winston Churchills home. I personally don’t like the architecture of his home, especially at the back of the house. Also inside if you could imagine a bare house, I think it would look badly designed. However that said, it’s a lovely place to visit, again beautiful gardens and trails to follow. It’s a National Trust place now and if your lucky you will see that a ginger cat still resides there.

The wildlife by the pond/lake are lovely to watch, I sat there for a long while just enjoying watching a kingfisher diving (sadly no photo) and watching the Heron, black swans, and the ducks preening themselves. Plenty of insects too, dragonflies and damselflies.

Winston Churchill loved painting and he has a studio at Chartwell that you can see his works, some are in my opinion poor whilst others are extremely good. Painting helped Churchill deal with bis depression.

When you go into the house, it’s got a lot of Churchill there, his personality really comes out in his home. He loved dressing up and he has many outfits on display. He also loved other countries, he loved learning and knowing about their cultures. He was a man that knew what he wanted.

The gardens are beautiful and they are wheelchair friendly in a lot of places, though not all. I didn’t get to go downstairs in the house due to my capabilities, however my friend took photos of the kitchen, of which she knew I would love. I was enthralled Looking at the photo, it was fantastic, all the copper, especially the kettle. I could imagine working down in the kitchen, the smells the sound, I bet at Christmas it was amazing.

Hever Castle

Dan and I love our history, and anything of architectural interests and or historical figures we love to visit. Hever Castle is one such place. Set in the woody countryside of Kent, Hever is a small castle compared to most, with impressive gardens and luxurious bed and breakfast it’s a treat to visit and I possible to stay.

We first started going to Hever over 20 years ago it wasn’t that well known. Back then we didn’t have a car and would pack a picnic, grab the dog and catch a train from East Croydon to Edenbridge before changing over and catching a train to Hever. It was still a fair walk from the station, but with dog in tow a lovely enjoyable walk. Imagining Henry Viii riding through these areas to see Anne Boleyn

Originally the childhood home of Anne Boleyn, it would later be Anne of Cleves home. The castle is beautiful, with koi carp of different sizes in the moat and swans and ducks on the moat. The gardens are incredibly beautiful, with so many gardens to look at and enjoy, Hever is worth going just for the gardens.

Staying at Hever bed and breakfast for one night is like being on holiday for a week. You come away feeling so relaxed. We’ve been a few times and each time it is different. Christmas is amazing to stay at Hever, the sights are beautiful and a cosy night with breakfast in the morning makes it a lovely night away. We’ve stayed in Wild Rose and Tiger Lily. Both are beautiful, but Tiger Lily is better and the grounds look amazing from the windows.

Here are some photos of Hever at different times of the year.

Collector of Crystals

Bring a spiritual person, over many many decades I have collected crystals. I have brought some duds which were sold as crystals but were in fact resin. Ask any true spiritual person who loves crystal can you tell the difference and the answer is yes.

Each crystals or selection of Crystals can help with different parts of your body, you again can feel which is right for you. They give a nice feeling in your hand, almost like a low level tingling, some will just make you feel happier the minute you touch them, others if not suited to you or for that moment will feel wrong, your gut tells you if it hasn’t already fell out of your hand. I can’t handle raw emerald. I get a horrid twisted feeling from it, so now I don’t touch it and haven’t done for years.

I have my favourites, Blue Lace Agate, Citrine,clear quartz, labradorite, amethyst, kyanite, hematite, moss agate and Botswana agate. I also have some I’m not so keen on, I still have them, but I don’t like them. Emerald and Carnelian are the ones I just don’t get on with.

I get a lot of my recent crystals from Crystal Manifestations, the quality of the crystals are the best I’ve ever had. Check out her Facebook page .

https://www.facebook.com/CrystalManifestations/

Model making

I’ve always liked making things my parents would agree, I loved making a mess. This has not changed. I have so many hobbies and interests I am never bored. I don’t believe in boredom.

My husband paints 28mm wargaming soldiers, his favourite are Perry Miniatures, Mark Copplestone, Steve Salah, Foundry and more recently he has started to paint Claymore miniatures and Front Rank. He has odd figures from different places but these are his favourites. I did try and join him with painting, but I’m no good at it and mine are so badly painted they look like they have eyelashes on

These are painted by my husband Danny Wood

I made this diorama and painted up the aliens for a Steve Dean’s Forum competition

Painted by myself

However, I do love building model buildings and painting them up. I’m not saying I’m brilliant at it, but I enjoy it. I have been lucky to have been commissioned to make buildings.

I started off making scratchbyit boats and ships from balsa wood, unfortunately I made these when photos had to be developed and took a few weeks to come back, so have no photos.

Gradually I started to build more and more buildings, and sold some on ebay and others were sold direct to whomever had ordered them. One of my buildings went to America and even after over 10 years the gentleman still has it

I am currently working on two buildings that came off a sprue and I assembled, one is Perry Miniatures medieval building and the other I confess I can’t remember where Dan brought it from. I haven’t finished them yet but pleased with them so far.