Christmascracker

Monday

What a dreadful night, my son lives in Regina, Canada with his long term girlfriend who is Canadian. With 2 murderers at large there after killing 10 people and stabbing at least 15 more, I am worried. Its a sad and ill world at the moment. Greed, pain and vanity has taken over from kindness, fairness and common sense. Also nowadays few people can watch a programme or film, unless it’s got all the cgi and violence in it.

It was quite a night with thunder and lightning as well, I’ve a phobia of storms, but I put on headphones and listened to DH Lawrence selection of stories and wore two eye masks. I came downstairs and my dog came over and sat down in between my legs knowing I’m scared. I finally got to sleep just gone 5. Not great when you have a dentist appointment at 9.am.

Thunderstorm last night It was 200 miles long & produces 28,000 strikes! ⚡

Anyway 9am I had to have my tooth taken out, I react with bad shakes with anaesthetic, along with a lack of sleep the shakes were dreadful and the poor nurse was quite worried bless her. Glad the tooth is out, but at the moment the pain is really bar. Nurofen hasn’t even touched it yet, but it will get better.

I feel I may have made a mistake by forgiving someone, I believe life is short, but I feel that maybe there are times that you have to sadly realise that for your own mental health you have to walk away.

Anyway, hoping that everyone has a good day and that my sympathies go to the families and friends of the people.who were murdered in Saskatchewan Canada

Nice clean windows!!!!

The windows have all been cleaned downstairs, however our dog has decided that they need his artwork on it. Nose pressed firmly against each window and paws on the patio windows and nose mark.

A home isn’t a home without a dog or two and a cat or 3, 4 5 or 6. Nowadays I only have the one cat, and a cat that visits for a cuddle and my cats food.

Mixed Bag

Been a bit of a mixed bag of things been happening since I last wrote.

Monday have a tooth out, it’s been causing me pain for quite a while, I finally plucked up enough courage to phone a dentist and now its going to be taken out. Not before time, I think it may in the last few days gone on to be infected and feeling like a abcess.

Friday my kidney consultant phoned to say thankfully I am free of kidney stones. It appears that I’ve had a Stag horn stone along with a lot of little ones, to be precise a stent full of stones. I’ve got to cut down on meat, sugar and salt. Bit of a problem because I don’t like vegetables and not keen on fruit, but I will be trying.

I’m excited because my son and his girlfriend have booked their flights to come over from Canada to see us. We miss them both so much. It will be lovely to see them.

My husband is currently painting the bathroom, we have my mum coming to stay and our house is looking tired. We are not known for our DIY. Mum and I are booked in to stay at Hever Castle as well. Which I can’t wait for. No.matter what time of the year, Hever is always beautiful.

I’m still running a high temperature and feeling quite poorly. My whole body is like its walking through thick tar, and I’m exhausted, physically and mentally. I’ve finished my antibiotics for kidney infection, but looks like I may need some more help. I’m a little short with people at the moment and finding the slightest thing sets me off into tears.

It takes a lot for me walk away from people, this week I’ve come close and still may do so. I struggle with what goes on in life and have actually come to the conclusion I’m too wet. Since last year, I’ve really struggled to see the point of much.

Losing my beautiful black labrador just before lockdown, broke my heart, he was a good okd faithful boy and a mummys boy, then two weeks before Christmas the same year, my beautiful girl cat had to be pts, she was so much to me, I miss her soft fur, her chatting away to me and her moods. I thought 2021 could only get better, but ot didn’t, it got a lot worse. My S.I.L died of cancer suddenly, then my dad died shortly afterwards, we didn’t seem to have much time before my brother got diagnosed with cancer. Now I’m scared of life and.wonder what’s the point.

I’ve always cared and believe in kindness, I maybe a bit quick with my temper, but I normally forget within a hour what I was angry about. Anyone who knows me, will know I don’t fall out with people, I don’t like conflict, so when someone upsets me, I will get hurt and normally won’t show them, I will continue as normal. If I’m really angry, I will come away from the situation, and this week I have had to do that. I’m not sure what to do about it yet, but I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I don’t think I can take anymore hurt anymore. I want a quiet life.

Anyway, it’s 1.21am and I guess I should sleep instead of everything going through my head.

Night and don’t let others take your sunshine away. Xxx

Recipes

I have numerous recipe books, some new and some that have been handed down to me. My favourite, though falling apart through 60 plus years of use is a recipe book my mum gave me last year, that was hers when she first got married. I love it. I also have folders of recipes given to me by family and friends, each paper with the recipe on it, has the date I was given the recipe and who gave me it.

I have favourites, ones that are used over and over again, I have recipes that I’ve changed slightly. One of these is Nigella Lawsons crab and macaroni, I keep to the recipe, but I had jumbo prawns to it. Very tasty.

Christmas is my favourite time of the year, just in case you hadn’t worked that out yet. The 30th November I make loads of mincepies, ready to eat with a glass of sherry as we decorate the house. Christmas Eve is always a buffet, that way we can watch Christmas films, ie The Snowman and The Polar Express and nibble away.

My buffet normally consists of homemade sausage rolls, (refuse to buy them) lasagne, chicken bits, cold meats, pate, a tiny bit of salad (we are not very good eating the green stuff lol) fresh bread rolls. The Christmas cake is always there along with homemade cupcakes, homemade biscuits and my daughters favourite puff pastry shapes covered in sugar.

My mum makes an amazing paella and in 2006 she gave me her recipe its expensive so we only have it occasionally, I also have a lovely St Helenian tomato paste recipe from my dear friend Robbie George. Tomato paste for sandwiches may sound weird, but seriously the saints have made this and its incredibly tasty. I will ask Robbie for his permission to put his recipe on here at a later date.

Have a happy, fun day xxx

Modelling!!!!

Heat in the bedroom last night was hot, we hit over 30c in the bedroom, even with fans on and no humidity, sleep was impossible. I tossed and turned, getting up at 3am and then giving up at 4.45am. I opened all doors, disturbing a resting fox in the middle of the garden and all windows were opened. I sat drinking ice cold coffee while feeling the cold air on my back as I sat by the patio doors. It was bliss. 16c and though no breeze, it was perfect.

My husband joined me at 6am, so he could take the dog out before it got hot. We’ve got a chunky labrador (no he’s not fat, that’s his build) at 37kg we need to make sure he gets out before temperatures reach 21c. We have a little chat when he comes back about the series “Tate Britain’s Great Art Walks”, we both love art and always fascinated by what makes a artist tick. I’m hoping that they will do John Martin, I adore his work. We were both fascinated with Dora Carrington, so much so we brought the film Carrington. Just waiting for it to come. We had watched “Life in Squares” which though it didn’t contain Dora, it was interesting to find out about Vanessa Bell and her sister Virginia Wolf. Anyway, we have decided that we need to visit the Tate again. I used to visit the Tate Modern in my lunch break when I worked up London. I never got bored and it was just a 5 minute walk from work.

Back to today, in my wisdom I decide I am going to do some more of my models and start getting the bits together now. However, I forgot that I had zero sleep and therefore don’t have coordinating hands of a 5ft 6 woman, but rather today my hands Co ordinate like a giants hand that has been on drink all night. After gluing my fingers several times and not matching the walls up properly, I’ve decided I better leave it till I’m more steady with my hands and my concentration is better. It doesn’t help that I’ve also been dined on by mosquitos. I had heard them, but they got me before I got them.

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend watching Tate Britain’s Great Art Walks, it’s been interesting, also curator Gus Casely-Hayford is fantastic, this isn’t a art snob, this is man that really loves what he does, you see and feel it in his eyes face and body language. He’s a joy to listen to. I confess to not like Jeremy Paxman who just seems to love to be awkward and grumpy, I find him rude and obstinate, however seeing and understanding Edwin Landseer was well putting up with him and the same with who in the past I liked, photographer David Bailey, who I felt was being a bigot, however he did come round when he saw John Singer Sargents private paintings he did for himself, even showing a vulnerable side to him, which made him likeable. As i said, it’s fascinating to watch.

Have a wonderful day xx

People

Yesterday I had to go to St George’s hospital for a kidney scan. It was 34c and when walking is a problem, the hospital is actually not very disabled friendly. The car had to be parked quite away from the place I had to go. Meaning the wheelchair had to be brought out, my husband had to deal with not just the heat, but moving me in the wheelchair when kerbs would disappear and we would be in the road with impatient car users.

We waited in the waiting room, where a poor man echausted by the heat was snoring, I would have drunk more water being so hot, but the water dispenser was broke. Once in the scan room, the radiographer was quite abrupt (bedside manners missing) she told me my bladder wasn’t full even though I had drunk nearly 3 bottles of water and then told me its because its hot. Really!!! Would never of guessed. Scan done.

Coming outside, there was police dealing with someone, then another lot of police coming round. Seems such a shame when though the ultrasound lady could have been friendlier, the staff don’t need abuse.

Well new laws are in that bikes should ride in the middle of the road and pedestrians always have the right of way, and it seemed a lot got the memo yesterday. We should be like Finland and not allow Jay crossing. There was so many people just walking across busy roads, most on phones with earplugs in.

Anyway, my day was done, and that’s my hospital appointments done this week. Next week starts a new lot

My daughter who is autistic works for a hardware company, just a few days a week. However, this week a man in his 60s decided it would be OK to leer and to make comments and keep licking and pursing his lips at her. He wouldn’t take his eyes off her chest and though she has trouble reading people, she felt very uncomfortable from his remarks and his behaviour. When she was in the car, she burst into tears and had a meltdown. This is all because a stupid man fancied himself. Please think, just because someone is behind a till and serving you, you do NOT have the right to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Sadly this is not the first time it has happened and it did upset a girl who did not have autism when a group of men came in and did the same to my daughter and the other girl.

Autism, its different in different people. My daughter takes things literally. She is incredibly artistic and can remember things. As a child of 2 she would play pairs and the game was always short, she remembered where every card was. With my daughter, most of the time nowadays you would not know she has autism, but there are signs. She can’t handle a lot of noise, textures of food or clothes. Labels have to be removed. She doesn’t recognise if someone is being sarcastic or being nice. Any comments about her are a personal attack. She is learning and tries hard. Meltdowns are less, up until a few years ago, I’d have to fold my arms across her and rock her to calm her down. Now she has learnt some of her own mechanisms to help.

Very often people who are bullies or nasty are going through something themselves. However that does not give them the right to be nasty and abusive to others.

I think sometimes we have to protect ourselves from people who may not even know they are hurting us. If someone doesn’t write or gets in contact with you, but only when perhaps they are bored or want something from you, you have to walk away even if it hurts you. They may not realise they are doing it. So don’t assume they are being nasty or anything like that, but realise you are very low priority and walk away so you don’t hurt anymore.

Well that was happy…..not lol

Going to do some modelling. Xx

Christmas Pub

Every year I buy a cheap mdf Christmas build and every year i get cheesed off with how cheaply they are made and how the lights are unless. So I decided this year I’d make my own.

So I’ve brought 2mm mdf to make a Christmas pub. I’ve got the design in my head and at the moment I’ve only cut out the main building bits. I’ve attached acetate for the windows, and that’s has far as I’ve got so far. It’s rough and needs cleaning up before putting together.

I will need to work out what can be seen by the window I don’t want it to be a very small dolls house. However I do want it to look like a British pub, not one of these themed type pubs that have popped up everywhere over the years.

Wip pictures below.

Well that was hot!!!!

Was planning to do nothing, literally nothing in this heat, yesterday reached 39c here and was in high 40s upstairs. Downstairs we have a portable air-conditioned because the dog and I can’t deal with heat and anything about 22c is tooooo hot for me.

I had got shopping brought in Sunday, to minimise the heat effecting me. Shopping all put away, now to try and settle knowing its going to get hot.

Monday, wearing shorts that are absolutely at the point of throwing ‘actually will throw away today) and a Egyptian cotton vest that doesn’t match much shorts but hey ho, no ones going to see me……..WRONG . The world and his wife are going to see me.

I had tried to keep my cat in knowing temperatures were going to hit 34c, but he got out. I call him, but no he’s not having any of that. It gets to just after 12 and he comes rushing in crying and panting. I grab hold of him and put him in the empty bath so I can flannel him down with a wet flannel. However I was not expecting to see what I saw. A huge 4inch gaping hole. I’ve done basic first aid for animals, but this needs more than a clean up and bandage.

The vets saw us has an emergency, the vet explained that the injury was so bad that they could see all his muscles and tendons and a little bit of bone. He would need to have general anaesthetic to stitch his muscles and flesh up. I had to go home and wait for 7 hours before I could bring him home. Today I find out more what has happened. One nurse told me it was a dog attack, another said it had been done by a human and another said he could have caught it on something.

He comes home and his happy to be home, but it’s hot and though we put him in a cage downstairs it was still too hot so he lay in the cat litter to keep cool. So another cat litter was brought in.

Yesterday evening, he was getting tok depressed, so I let him out of the cage knowing exactly where he would go. I helped him up on my bed and stayed there for a while. Fan blazing and thankfully temperatures had started to drop from 39c outside to 26c. I put on my tiny air cooler so it was right near him and flanneled him down.

My husband just walked through the door when there was a massive flash of lightning. I am now useless, I’m not just scared of storms I have a phobia of storms. My husband gives me his Bluetooth noise cancelling headphones and I play Alan Parsons project followed by Aerosmith. Thankfully the storm passed quickly, and I was able to settle again.

I slept in the spare bedroom with windows slightly opened, fan on, with my cat cuddling up to me purring. I sleep lightly so his slightest movement I’m awake. He had a little walk around and ate some food, before snuggling back into me. Even though its hot, my skin is normally cold and my cat loves that

Anyway we are back up to vets today to see how he is recovering. I’ll let you know how he is. I will also try and blog about the rife machine.

Have a great day xxx

Christmas

While everyone else is thinking about this heatwave, which by the way I hate. I’m not good in hot weather. Above 22c is too warm for me. I’m thinking about Christmas.

I love the colder months, the crisp fresh mornings, when hoar frost is making everything look so refreshingly beautiful. When my house roof isn’t leaking I love the rain, love hearing it pattering against the window. Wind is OK, unless it’s too strong, 1987 frightened the life out of me and made me nervous of wind now. The only two weathers I really hate is hot and stormy. I have a phobia of thunder and lightning. Come rain, snow, wind or sun if you’re dressed for it, I love being in it.

Christmas is my favourite time of year. The smells of cinnamon, oranges and apples. Hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream and marshmallows and a candy cane in the cream, sprinkles on too. The sound of wrapping paper when wrapping and unwrapping. Wrapping up is always fun with a cat and dog. Both feel they need to help. The lights twinkling on the trees, the Christmas music. It’s a wonderful time. I love hearing the laughter and singing.

So while everyone is thinking about bikinis, flip flops, sunbathing and heat, I’m thinking of jumpers, jeans, boots, baking and snow angels. My best friend and I were talking one day of our perfect holiday. Hers was being in a bikini on a beach with white sand drinking cocktails, Mine was wearing sapalettes, big down coat, snowbike and snow, with hot chocolate. Funny but wonderful how we are all so different.

Anyway have a great day xx

Smear test

Today, I’ve got my smear test, I don’t like them, like everyone else, however the importance far outweighs not having it done. If caught early enough cervical cancer can be cured. If it’s not the effects are devastating to the person and to the family and friends.

It’s a quick process, and a tad uncomfortable, but only slightly. You lay on the bed with knees up and dropped to your sides. The nurse or doctor then gentle inserts a speculum to open your cervix, this can be a bit cold, she will then using a type of brush (not like a hairbrush or dishwashing brush) but a small very light and flimsy brush, I guess in size like a eyebrow brush but far softer and will insert that and quickly brush the inside of your cervix, this will give the laboratory the cells needed to check for cancer.

You will feel like you got a period pain and may bleed very slightly. This will stop within minutes to a few hours. Nothing compared to wear happens if you don’t have it and get cancer.

You can then enjoy your day as normal.

Book it now if you haven’t had one in 3 years.

Xxx