Mixed Bag

Been a bit of a mixed bag of things been happening since I last wrote.

Monday have a tooth out, it’s been causing me pain for quite a while, I finally plucked up enough courage to phone a dentist and now its going to be taken out. Not before time, I think it may in the last few days gone on to be infected and feeling like a abcess.

Friday my kidney consultant phoned to say thankfully I am free of kidney stones. It appears that I’ve had a Stag horn stone along with a lot of little ones, to be precise a stent full of stones. I’ve got to cut down on meat, sugar and salt. Bit of a problem because I don’t like vegetables and not keen on fruit, but I will be trying.

I’m excited because my son and his girlfriend have booked their flights to come over from Canada to see us. We miss them both so much. It will be lovely to see them.

My husband is currently painting the bathroom, we have my mum coming to stay and our house is looking tired. We are not known for our DIY. Mum and I are booked in to stay at Hever Castle as well. Which I can’t wait for. No.matter what time of the year, Hever is always beautiful.

I’m still running a high temperature and feeling quite poorly. My whole body is like its walking through thick tar, and I’m exhausted, physically and mentally. I’ve finished my antibiotics for kidney infection, but looks like I may need some more help. I’m a little short with people at the moment and finding the slightest thing sets me off into tears.

It takes a lot for me walk away from people, this week I’ve come close and still may do so. I struggle with what goes on in life and have actually come to the conclusion I’m too wet. Since last year, I’ve really struggled to see the point of much.

Losing my beautiful black labrador just before lockdown, broke my heart, he was a good okd faithful boy and a mummys boy, then two weeks before Christmas the same year, my beautiful girl cat had to be pts, she was so much to me, I miss her soft fur, her chatting away to me and her moods. I thought 2021 could only get better, but ot didn’t, it got a lot worse. My S.I.L died of cancer suddenly, then my dad died shortly afterwards, we didn’t seem to have much time before my brother got diagnosed with cancer. Now I’m scared of life and.wonder what’s the point.

I’ve always cared and believe in kindness, I maybe a bit quick with my temper, but I normally forget within a hour what I was angry about. Anyone who knows me, will know I don’t fall out with people, I don’t like conflict, so when someone upsets me, I will get hurt and normally won’t show them, I will continue as normal. If I’m really angry, I will come away from the situation, and this week I have had to do that. I’m not sure what to do about it yet, but I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I don’t think I can take anymore hurt anymore. I want a quiet life.

Anyway, it’s 1.21am and I guess I should sleep instead of everything going through my head.

Night and don’t let others take your sunshine away. Xxx